HEY ARNOLD!
FAN-FICTION STORY
By Megawacky Max

Original found at - http://megadimension.freeservers.com/fanficing_beatles07.htm

Part 7: A little, little, BIG mistake

The next day, at Mr. Simmons' class ...

Simmons: Good morning, class! Today we'll learn more about national history ... (the class groans) ... but before that, Rhonda Wellington has something to say to us.

Rhonda: (stands up) thank you, Mr. Simmons! (To the class) I'm working in a special literature project. I need your collaboration. My friend Nadine over there (Rhonda points to Nadine, who has a bunch of papers in her hands) will give you a form to fill in.

Nadine starts giving a form to each student.

Rhonda: Please, write in the empty boxes the words written with the typewriter. Once you've finished, Nadine will take your paper.

Everyone in the class (Mr. Simmons inclusive) start working. The words are FOOL, WORLD, FAN, COOL, DANCE and SHY. Everyone writes. Later, Nadine starts picking up the papers.

Rhonda: (To the class) Thanks to you all! This will be a great help for me! (To Mr. Simmons) You can continue with your class, Mr. Simmons! (The class groans again).

That night, Rhonda is in her bedroom, comparing her friend's hand writing with her admirer's one.

Rhonda: Uhhmmm ... these ones don’t match. I'm a bit tired. Well ... just two more left. Let's see ... (Rhonda takes one of the papers) ... oh, this one is from Eugene.

Rhonda compares Eugene's hand writing with the poem.

Rhonda: It's impossible Eugene couldn't have written this! His handwriting is awful to the extreme! That's it, there's just one more paper in the try!

Rhonda takes the last paper.

Rhonda: Uhmm ... this is from Arnold. Let's compare it ...

Suddenly, Rhonda shocks. Arnold's hand writing is the same as her secret admirer's one!

Rhonda: (Surprised) OH, MY GOD! This can't be possible! Arnold is my secret admirer?!! (Calms down) No, no... wait! Arnold already has Helga to be his dance partner. But then... who is my secret fan?

Rhonda thinks. There's no way Arnold could be the one who wrote all those poems. By the other hand, he is the only one with the most similar handwriting.

Rhonda: I really can't believe this! Arnold prefers me before Helga! Tomorrow I'll tell him what I think!

The next day, right before the bell rings, Arnold is talking with Eugene and Gerald outside one of the school's classrooms.

Arnold: So ... no news?

Eugene: No ... looks like my self-description wasn't all that illustrative as I thought. She didn't even come near to me!

Gerald: You gotta be patient! This things take time!

Arnold: Gerald's right! You gotta ... (Arnold looks over Eugene) Hey, look! There's Rhonda! And she's coming right this way!!

Eugene turns around. He sees Rhonda walking to him with a big smile in her face.

Eugene: (Cheers up) Finally! She found out who her secret admirer was!

Gerald: Stay cool, Eugene. Remember, don't panic yourself!

Eugene: Got it!

As Rhonda gets closer to him, Eugene open his arms like he wants to hug her.

Eugene: My beloved!!

Rhonda keeps walking and doesn't even notice Eugene standing there, waiting for her. She walks right close to Arnold and stops in front of him. Eugene, Gerald and Arnold are confused.

Arnold: (Confused) Huh? ... Rhonda, I think you stopped for the wrong guy.

Rhonda: (Happy) I don't think so! And, by the way ... (whispers to Arnold) I want to be your dance partner, my little fool!

That's done it! Arnold is terrified.

Arnold: (Terrified) WHAT??!!

Rhonda: (Smiling) I just found out you were always my secret admirer! Remember that paper you wrote for the support literature project of mine? It was an excuse to get all the classes handwriting styles! Then I started looking for the same handwriting. And you, Arnold, are the only kid with that handwriting! You are my secret admirer!!

Arnold gulps.

Arnold: Ahhh ... Rhonda, all this is a mistake! You see ... actually ...

Rhonda: (Happy) Oh, don't be shy! It will be nice to be your dance partner!

Arnold: No! ... I ...

Rhonda doesn't let Arnold to speak and hugs him strongly. Arnold almost can't breath.

Arnold: (With no air) ... help ...

Rhonda: (Happy) Arnold, you have made me the happiest girl at this school!

Gerald feels something bad about this. Then he hears someone walking to the scene, so he looks back and ...

Gerald: (Widens his eyes) Oh ... and I thought things couldn't get worst!

Eugene: Huh? (Looks back too) Yipe! Somebody here is gonna die!

Right behind Rhonda, a huge and not-so-good-looking shadow appears.

Helga: (Angry) What in heck's name are you doing to MY Arnold??

Rhonda stops hugging Arnold and looks back. There's Helga and Phoebe. Arnold tries to recover his air.

Rhonda: Your Arnold?! Ha! Very funny! That's not true anymore!

Helga: Looks like those fashion chemicals you always use finally put your brain out of order!

Phoebe walks to Gerald while the two girls have an argument.

Phoebe: (Worried) Gerald, what's going on?

Gerald: (Worried) Nothing good, Phoebe!

Rhonda: Listen, bossy girl: For your information, Arnold loves ME more than YOU!

Helga: (Totally mad) WHAT??!!

Arnold: (Still with no air) ... wait ... a second ...

Helga: (To Arnold. Worried) Arnold, is that true??

Arnold: (recovering air) ... No, it is not ...

Helga: (To Rhonda) See?

Rhonda: So, what? I've got evidence!

Rhonda takes from her pocket two papers. One is a poem wrote by her "secret admirer", and the other one is Arnold's paper for the literature project. She gives Helga both papers.

Rhonda: Compare both handwritings. You'll see something very funny.

Helga looks carefully both papers. Phoebe comes closer to her friend and looks carefully too. Then, Helga's face expression becomes sad. She slowly lowers the papers and, sadly, looks at Arnold.

Helga: (Sadly. About to break down) How could you ... (sniffs) ... do this to me?

Arnold: (Guilty) Helga, I can explain it! See ...

Helga: (Interrupts him) I DON'T CARE! I already know too much! I never thought you could do something like this to me! I HATE YOU, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Helga breaks down and leaves the scene running and leaving the papers on the floor. Phoebe picks up the papers. Arnold is stunned and dumb-founded.

Phoebe: (Shocked) Arnold ... listen ... I'm sure you're not that kind of boy. There must be a good reason. But right now ... I don't think I won't believe a word you say.

Arnold: But, I ...

Phoebe: I'm still shocked. Once I get relaxed, I'll start thinking normally again. Then I'll ask you a few questions. Now I must leave.

Phoebe starts leaving the scene.

Gerald: Where you going now?

Phoebe: (Stops and turns around) To Helga's house. She's in a bad mood and needs someone to help her. I'll talk with you tomorrow.

Gerald: Right. See you tomorrow.

Phoebe leaves Arnold and Gerald alone.

Eugene: (Comes closer to Arnold) Arnold ... I didn't expected that. I ...

Arnold: (A bit sad) That's OK, Eugene. I think no one expected that, anyway.

Gerald: Man, this is a mess! What are you gonna do?

Arnold: (Sighs) I really don't know, Gerald. I really don't know.

Later, at Helga's house, she and Phoebe are in Helga's room. Helga lies on her bed, crying loudly. Phoebe tries to cheer her up.

Helga: (Crying) Oh, why? Why? WHY? It was too good to be true! Arnold was cheating me all the time!

Phoebe: Helga ... I think you're jumping to conclusions. Maybe there's another reason for those ... er ... well ... love poems to Rhonda and ... er ...

Helga: (Crying) that doesn't help, Pheebs!

Phoebe: Sorry. It's just that I don't think Arnold could be like that. You need to analyze the situation first, and then you can make decisions about the subject.

Helga: (Crying) NO! There's nothing to analyze! You read the papers too! You know as well as I that Arnold is the only one who could have wrote all that ... that ... all that bunch of stupid love poems to that darn fashion girl, (she adds a bit of sarcasm to her voice, as if paying Rhonda out) Rhonda!!

Phoebe: Well ...

Helga: (Crying) please, leave me alone! I just want to be alone with my pain!

Phoebe: (After a silence) As you wish ...

Phoebe slowly leaves Helga's room.

Phoebe: (To herself, once she's out of Helga's room) Arnold must be innocent. I'm gonna prove it for you, Helga.

Much later, at Arnold's room, he's lying on his bed with a pillow covering his head. Gerald and Eugene are in the room too.

Gerald: Oh, come on, Arnold!

Arnold: Gerald, I'm a bit depressed. I just want to stay here ... and maybe die.

Eugene: This is all my fault!

Arnold: (takes out the pillow) Eugene... for the one-millionthest time: This is NOT your fault!

Gerald: Maybe just a little ... (Arnold looks at Gerald. Gerald shrugs his shoulders) ... Who knows ...

Arnold stands up.

Arnold: That's it! I need to fix this problem!

Gerald: And what are you gonna do?

Arnold: Just talk. Talk to Rhonda, and talk to Helga. There's nothing else to do.

Eugene: If I only had been braver ... none of this would have happened.

Arnold: For the one-millionthest and ONE time ... THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Eugene: OK! I've got it!

Gerald: What will you say to the girls?

Arnold: First I'm gonna talk to Rhonda. I must explain the truth to her. Then I will talk to Helga.

Gerald: This is going to be a hard thing to do! (Pauses and brightens up) Well! Good luck, man!

Arnold: Thanks, Gerald!

Eugene: I still think this is my ...

Arnold and Gerald: THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, EUGENE!!!

Eugene: (Scared) Right! Right!

Somebody knocks on Arnold's bedroom door.

Arnold: Yeah, come in ...

Phoebe opens the door and enters the room.

Phoebe: Hi, guys!

Arnold: Phoebe! What are you doing here?

Phoebe: Arnold, I'm pretty sure you're innocent. I'm here because of Helga.

Arnold: (Worried) How is she?

Phoebe: She's very depressed. That poem was a very low blow to her. She thinks you were cheating on her.

Arnold: Well, I wasn't!!

Gerald: Of course he wasn't!

Phoebe: But then ... why did you write those poems to Rhonda?

Eugene: Actually ... Arnold wrote those poems for me.

Phoebe: (Surprised) For YOU? Oh ... now I'm totally confused ...

Eugene: He wrote them for me ... so then I could give them to Rhonda.

Phoebe: What?

Gerald: Let me explain the case: This young man right here ... Eugene ... fell deeply in love with Rhonda Lloyd Wellington. He, in an exceptional attempt for calling her attention, wrote to her some beautiful poems. The problem was Eugene's handwriting is really awful. So, he asked Arnold for help. My good friend Arnold, over here, compliments poor Eugene, and "translated" the poems using his good-looking handwriting. That's why the poems have Arnold's hand writing on it!

Phoebe: Now I've get it! All of this was a stupid mistake! Eugene is the one in love with Rhonda!

Both Arnold and Gerald nod their heads grinning from ear to ear.

Eugene: (Blushes) Er ... I ... er ...

Gerald: But he's shy.

Arnold: And he asked us for help.

Phoebe: Oh, please forgive me!

Arnold: That's OK. Anyway ... you were the only one who thought I was innocent from the start.

Phoebe: This will be great news for Helga!

Arnold: Yes, it is! But first I'm going to talk to Rhonda. I want this mess fixed as soon as possible.

Phoebe: I'll go to Helga's house!

Gerald: Bye, Phoebe!

Phoebe: Goodbye ... (blushes) "Lord Johanssen".

She leaves the room.

Arnold: (Confused) "Lord Johanssen"? What was that about?

Gerald: Just forget it ...

Later, in Helga's room...

Helga: (Surprised) WHAT DID YOU SAY??

Phoebe: What you just heard! Arnold wrote the poems, but under Eugene's orders!

Helga: That means ... (king-sized smile) that means Arnold still loves me! Rhonda was wrong!

Phoebe: That's what I meant!

Helga: (Hugs Phoebe strongly) Oh, Phoebe! Thanks you very much! I'm proud of be your friend!

Phoebe: (Smiles too) Yes, well ... you're welcome. (Helga continues to hold on) Er ... Helga ... ?

Helga: Huh? (Then realizes what she is doing, and releases Phoebe). Oh! Sorry!

Next morning, at school. Arnold and Eugene are waiting in the hall for Rhonda.

Arnold: Where's Gerald? He was supposed to be here a few minutes ago.

Eugene: Arnold ... I'm not sure of this. Do we really need to talk to Rhonda?

Arnold: Of course we need to! I want you to let her know I don't want to be her dance partner! And you want to let her know you want to be her dance partner! Am I right?

Eugene: Er ... maybe?

Arnold: Listen ... Eugene, do YOU want to go to the big school dance?

Eugene: Sure I do!

Arnold: ... and, you want to go with a dance partner. Right?

Eugene: Yes!

Arnold: And the name of the dance partner of your dreams is ...

Eugene: (Yells) RHONDA LLOYD WELLINGTON!!!

Arnold: That's the spirit! You're ready to talk to her!

Gerald approaches, running.

Gerald: Arnold! Here she comes! Get ready!

Arnold: Now it's time, Eugene! Don't panic yourself!

Eugene: (Shivering) I ... I'll try ...

Rhonda approaches walking to Arnold.

Rhonda: (Smiling) Arnold! My beloved admirer! How are you?

Arnold: Ah ... fine ... I guess ...

Rhonda: I'm selecting a nice dress for the party. Whoa, we will be the best-dressed couple at the ball! I'm gonna use a gorgeous red dress and ...

Arnold: Rhonda, before you do ... there's something you must know ...

Rhonda: Oh, let me guess! You don't like red dresses! It's OK! I've got other colors: Blue, yellow, green, orange, silver, purple ...

Arnold: No! It's not the dress!
Rhonda: So ... ?

Arnold: It's about the party ... and those poems ... and you and me ...

Rhonda: Yes, I can imagine it!

Arnold: (Confused) Huh?

Rhonda: Aaah, the party! You and I, walking hand in hand while we enter the ballroom! Everyone will see us dancing to a love tune!

Rhonda grabs Arnold hands and starts dancing with him, day-dreaming.

Arnold: Hey! Stop!

Rhonda: (Daydreaming) and we will dance in front of all our fans. They will congratulate us when we win the dance contest!

Arnold: I said STOP!

Rhonda doesn't hear Arnold's petition. Helga and Phoebe are entering school and walking ... just to the hall were the show is going on!!

Helga: (Happy) I can't wait to see my beloved Arnold! Oooh, how many love words do I want to tell him! You were right, Pheebs. I was making too much of it!

Phoebe: Let's just put all this mess in the past! I don't really want to see you sad.

Helga: Now I'm sure I can trust Arnold, no matter WHAT happens!

Then the two girls turn the corner and stop suddenly. Arnold and Rhonda are dancing right in front! Arnold, Eugene, Gerald and Rhonda have no idea Helga and Phoebe is watching them.

Helga: CRIMINY!!!

Phoebe: (Surprised) What is he doing?

Helga: Ssshh! Hurry! Let's hide!

Phoebe and Helga hide around the corner and try to listen to the guys over the scene.

Rhonda: And we will dance ... and dance ... and dance ... and be fashionable  ... and cool ... and awesome ...

Helga is getting madder each time Rhonda says a word (ANY word). Phoebe tries to reduce the pressure.

Phoebe: Uh... They must be ... er ... chatting! Yeah, Arnold told me he was going to talk to Rhonda in order to fix the mess.

Helga: (Madder each moment) I am not sure at all!

Phoebe: Well ... they're not doing anything weird ...

Rhonda: (stops dancing) And, at the end of the music, is the best part!

Arnold: What part?

Rhonda gives Arnold a tremendous kiss in his mouth.

Phoebe: ... or, at least, that's what I thought...

Helga: (Furious) I ... I ... I ...

Helga starts walking to Arnold's. Phoebe tries to stop her.

Phoebe: Helga, don't!

Helga stops and turns to look at Phoebe. She shows "Old Betsie" to Phoebe.

Helga: (Furious) Don't get into this war ... or you'll be the first victim.

Phoebe: (Gulps) A ... Alright.

Helga continues walking to the kissing couple. Eugene looks back and sees Helga.

Eugene: Oh, no! Not again!

Gerald: Huh? (Looks back) Oops! Arnold! Emergency!

Arnold: (sees Helga coming) I don't like her face ...

Helga stops in front of the group.

Helga: (Furious) Eugene ... Gerald ... Get the heck out of here ... RIGHT NOW!!!

Gerald and Eugene say "yes" and start running madly. Helga comes closer to Arnold.

Helga: (Furious) And about you ... you darn ... football ... headed ... kid ...

Arnold: (Scared) Helga, wait! I can explain it all!

Helga keeps walking and Arnold needs to walk in reverse.

Helga: (Furious) I don't want ANY explanations! Less of yours! I tried to trust you! And, what did I get?

Arnold: (Scared) I ... I ... I don't know!

Helga: (Furious) I'll tell you WHAT did I get! I got a stupid supposed dance partner who broke my heart TWICE in just TWO DAYS!! That's what I got!!

Arnold can't continue walking, because there's a wall. Arnold is between a wall and Helga.

Arnold: (Scared) No! You don't understand!

Helga: (Furious) I just understand this: I really hate you, and you're gonna pay for all my pain!!

Arnold: (Scared) what?!

Helga takes Arnold by the his shirt neck and gets ready to give him a blow. But then Helga feels weird, and her face changes slowly from a dark-furious expression to an about-to-break-down sad expression.

Arnold: (Less scared) Helga ... are you ...?

Helga leaves Arnold and breaks down strongly. Put her hand on her face.

Helga: (Crying) what am I doing?

Arnold: Helga ...

Helga: (Crying) Leave me alone! (starts running) And never talk to me again!!

Arnold watches Helga leave. She leaves the school again.

Arnold: Man! This is an endless situation!

Rhonda approaches.

Rhonda: Whoa! I thought she was gonna punch your face in!

Arnold: She was about to.

Rhonda: See? She's not the girl for you! I'll never do something like that!

Arnold: (Sighs) Listen, Rhonda... and, please, let me speak. I don't want to be your dance partner.

Rhonda: (Surprised) Wh ... What?

Arnold: I know the poems have my handwriting. That's because I wrote them.

Rhonda: So?

Arnold: But that was because some other guy asked me to do it. Some other guy that is really in love with you!

Rhonda: Oh, my ... ! So, all of this was a mistake!

Arnold: That's it.

Rhonda: Oh, please, I'm sorry! I never ... !

Arnold: Don't worry, Rhonda. It's OK.

Rhonda: But, what will happen to you ... and Helga? She's furious!

Arnold: I'll try to talk to her ...

They two just stand there.

Rhonda: Uhmm ... did you say someone asked you to write the poems?

Arnold: Yes.

Rhonda: Can I know ... who's the guy?

Arnold: Eugene is his name.

Rhonda: (Shocked) Eugene?! Eugene Horowitz??!! Get out!

Arnold: No, it's true! He's in love with you.

Rhonda: No! I don't believe it! He's shy, small, uncool ... well, not all that uncool. He's a fool!

Arnold: Yes ... he's a little fool that, just, loves you.

Rhonda is petrified. She remembers those words from the poems.

Arnold: Please, at least try to talk to him. He won't get any closer to you. You know how shy Eugene is.

Rhonda: But ... I ...

The school bell rings.

Arnold: The bell. Let's go to our class.

Rhonda: Er ... yes ... I guess.

They both walk to the classroom. Phoebe is still hiding around the corner. She saw it all.

Phoebe: This problem is getting bigger each time. And I think Helga is in her worst moment. (Thinks) I don't know what will happen later ...

Phoebe walks to the classroom.

- End of part 7 -