HEY ARNOLD!
FAN-FICTION STORY
By Megawacky Max

Original found at - http://megadimension.freeservers.com/fanficing_beatles08.htm

Part 8: How to be cool

It's three o'clock in the afternoon. The students are leaving school. Phoebe, Arnold and Gerald meet in the street.

Arnold: Are you sure you can handle it?

Phoebe: I'll try. Helga is very hurt. You just can't imagine how much.

Gerald: Please, take care, Pheebs! What if she's so depressed that she wants to blow somebody's head off?

Phoebe: That's a risk I must take. She's my best friend.

Arnold: Please, take care, anyway.

Phoebe: I will. Wish me luck ...

Phoebe leaves the boys and goes to Helga's house.

Arnold: I hope Phoebe can explain it all to Helga.

Gerald: Yeah, me too, man. For ALL our sakes!

Arnold: Let's go to my house. There are more things to do.

Arnold and Gerald go to Arnold's house. Meanwhile, Phoebe is arriving at Helga's house. She knocks on the door and, a few seconds later, Miriam attends to Phoebe.

Miriam: Yes?

Phoebe: Excuse me, Mrs. Pataki ... may I talk to Helga, please?

Miriam: Oh, sorry, but Helga isn't here. She said she wanted to walk to ... ehm ... to suture her pain. Or, at least, that's what I heard.

Phoebe: Oh, well. Thanks anyway.

Miriam: You're welcome.

Miriam closes the door.

Phoebe: Were could she have gone?

Meanwhile, at Arnold's house, he and Gerald walk upstairs to Arnold's room.

Gerald: What are we gonna do now, pal?

Arnold: I need to find a way to talk to Helga again. Phoebe could fail.

Gerald: Yup.

Arnold opens his bedroom door and enters, but when Gerald is about to enter behind him, Helga (right behind the door) slams Arnold's  door, closing it and leaving Gerald on the outside.

Gerald: (On other side of the door) Hey!

Arnold: What? (turns and sees Helga) Helga!

Helga doesn't reply. Her face is a bit frightening. She's mad.

Arnold: (A bit scared) What are you doing in my room?

Helga: (Slowly) Well ... well ... well ... look what we've got here. A dull-brained football headed kid who used to be my dance partner. But then ... (getting madder) ... then he left me! He left me for another girl!

Helga comes as close as possible to Arnold and speaks directly on his face.

Helga: (Slowly and frighteningly) why, did you do this to me, Arnold?

Arnold: (Speechless and scared) I ... I ... I don't ...

Helga loses her patience and grabs Arnold from the shirt's neck.

Helga: Listen, football head: I'm SICK of you! I don't like you anymore! I HATE you! Did you get it? I don't want your loving anymore! EVER!

Helga lets go of Arnold and he falls on the floor. She starts leaving the room, using the roof exit at one side of Arnold's bed. She stops on the way.

Helga: One more thing, dweeb ... if you dare to cross your darn existence in my way again ... you're gonna need first aid attention.

Arnold: (Still on the floor) But, I ... !

Helga: I said!

Helga leaves Arnold's room. Arnold stands up and opens the door for Gerald.

Arnold: Gerald, I ...

Gerald: Not a word, buddy. I heard it all.

Arnold: (Sighs) Why? Why does this have to happen to me?

Gerald: I have no idea.

Arnold: This is not good. I feel miserable ... I never thought it could be so bad. She left me a couple minutes ago ... and I already miss her so much ...

Gerald: What you need is a plan, Arnold. And I think I can help you this time.

Arnold: Really?

Gerald: Sure! Look: Why does Helga hate you?

Arnold: Because she saw Rhonda kissing me.

Gerald: Right! And she thought you were cheating on her!

Arnold: Gerald, what's the point? She won't listen to me!

Gerald: But if you prove your love to her, she will believe in you again!

Arnold keeps silence.

Arnold: Prove my love ... to her?

Gerald: Yes! Do something awesome to prove to Helga you still love her!

Arnold: Gerald, that's brilliant! But ... how?

Gerald: We'll think of something.

Arnold: I just want to be with her at the party. But I must be quick! The party is in two weeks!

Gerald: The party!! That's it!

Arnold: Huh?

Gerald: If Helga sees Eugene and Rhonda making a date for the party, she'll understand it was all a mistake! We NEED to get Eugene and Rhonda together!

Arnold: That could work! ... Oh, wait!

Gerald: What's up?

Arnold: It's gonna be impossible. Eugene is petrified when Rhonda is around, and I'm sure Rhonda has no intention of talking to Eugene.

Gerald: But she knows Eugene is the author of the poems!

Arnold: You know Rhonda's attitude, she doesn't like uncool people.

Gerald: ... and Eugene is the uncoolest one. Yep, you're right. (Thinks) Wait ... And if we teach Eugene how to be cool?

Arnold cheers up.

Arnold: Yes ... yes! YES! That's the idea I was looking for! We are going to make Eugene the coolest guy at school ...

Gerald: ... ahem ...

Arnold: ... after you, of course.

Later, Helga is back to her room. She slams her door quite hard once she is inside the room.

Helga: (While she walks to her bed) ... I hate him ... I hate him ... I HATE him ... I HATE HIM ...

Helga jumps onto her bed and lies on it.

Helga: (Angry) That fool thought he could cheat on Helga G. Pataki. Ha! I can't believe I was so ... so ... so dumb! How could I believe him? How could I believe him for a second time?? He's just a stupid football headed kid! That's what he is!

Helga sits on her bed and takes out her heart-shaped locket.

Helga: (Looking at Arnold's photo in the locket, angry) did you hear that, stupid? You are just a football headed kid to me! A stupid, dumb, dweeb, weenie, (changing to a smiling face with soft and nice voice, slowly) idiot, sucker, a bit good looking, nice, handsome, fantastic, awesome, terrific, cool, great guy.

Helga stays silence. Then she lets herself fall on the bed. She stays there, looking at the ceiling.

Helga: What is going on with me? I suppose I should be mad with Arnold ... and I am! But ... I feel I don't want to hate him ... (sighs) criminy, this is so weird. But he cheated on me! Why can't I hate him?

Helga sits again on her bed and looks again to the locket. Arnold’s face continues to stare up at her.

Helga: (Sighs) Arnold ... I can't hate you. But you broke my heart ... twice! (she puts the locket in her pocket) I don't know what to do ... all of this is so weird ...

The next day, after school, Eugene and Gerald are in Arnold's room with him.

Arnold: Boy, what a day! Helga wouldn't talk to me!

Gerald: She looked very angry.

Eugene: Yeah, and she was about to pound you!

Arnold: We'd better hurry up! I don't know what Helga is going to do to me!

Gerald: Right. OK, Eugene, we're going to teach you a thing or two about 'How-To-Be-Cool'.

Eugene: I wonder if I could be as cool as you! Rhonda will never talk to me ... unless I am cool ... just a bit cool.

Gerald: Let's begin. First you MUST learn how to impress a girl. Now, what could you do for a good impression?

Eugene: Ahh ... er ... (confused) tell her about my many accidents?

Arnold and Gerald are speechless.

Gerald: Definitely, this will be hard ... hard ... HARD work to do.

Arnold: (Sighs) well ... the sooner we start, the sooner we'll finish.

Gerald: OK.

Arnold and Gerald start working in Eugene's cool-style. Meanwhile, Helga and Phoebe are walking in the street.

Helga: Hey, Phoebe, wanna go to the arcades?

Phoebe: (Paying no attention) Hmmm ...

Helga: Phoebe. Phoebe! HEY, PHEEBS!!

Phoebe: (Reacts) Oh! Oh, sorry, Helga!

Helga: Pay attention, Phoebe! What about if a car rolls over you, or if you fall into a sewer hole?

Phoebe: It's that ... I was thinking about your relation with ...

Helga: (Stops suddenly) NO! Never mention me that stupid football head! Never!

Phoebe: But ... why?

Helga: Because I don't want him anymore! That's why!

Phoebe stares at Helga.

Phoebe: You know ... Helga. I can't believe you just said that! (Helga keeps silent). Your love for Arnold is bigger than you think. No matter what happens, you will always love Arnold. For the rest of your life.

Helga: (Starts walking again. Sounds bored) that's not true ...

Phoebe follows Helga.

Phoebe: Oh, please, Helga! Try to understand! He loves you too! He is not a bad guy!

Helga: So, why he was with Rhonda? And why they were dancing? And WHY they were kissing each other?

Phoebe: I already told ya! It was a mistake on Rhonda's behalf! Just ask her!

Helga: I don't want to talk with fashion-girl. I don't want to talk with Arnold either.

Phoebe: That's a pity. An almost-perfect couple separated by an obstructed soul, full of love feelings.

Helga: What?

She stops again.

Phoebe: Helga, you know you love him. Just let that feeling out. Please, I can't see you suffering like that! Helga, I beg you, put your hand on your heart and tell me the truth!

Helga: But, I ...

Phoebe: Just do it!

Helga thinks for a second. Then she slowly brings her hand to her heart and leaves it there.

Phoebe: And now ... say what you feel.

Helga: I ... (sweats) I ... oh ... I ...

Phoebe: C'mon, Helga! I know you can do it!

Helga: (Sweats) I ... I ... (pause) I love ... I ...

Phoebe: Yeah, that's it! Go ahead!

Helga: (Sweats) I love ... I love ... I LOVE HIM!! I LOVE ARNOLD!!

Phoebe: (Happy) YES! I KNEW YOU CAN!

Helga breaks down and almost falls to the floor. Phoebe grabs Helga. Helga is so depressed that she starts crying. Phoebe tries to help and hugs her.

Helga: (Crying) Oh, what have I done? I always loved him!

Phoebe: That's OK. Now you must relax. Saying the truth was a hard effort for you.

Phoebe releases Helga. Helga dries her tears.

Helga: I've never (sniffs) felt like that. I really love him.

Phoebe: And he loves you! So, what's the big problem?

Helga: I ... I'm not sure (sniffs).

Helga sits on the curb. Phoebe sits at her left.

Phoebe: What do you mean?

Helga: You know ... for some ... weird reason I'm not sure enough of this. Does Arnold really love me?

Phoebe: Sure, he does!

Helga: I don't know. I'm afraid of seeing Arnold again to reconcile with him. What if Rhonda is with him again?

Phoebe: That won't happen.

Helga: Phoebe, you are my best friend. Please, don't tell any of this to Arnold.

Phoebe: (Surprised) what?!

Helga: I want to see what happens now. I think this is not the right moment to talk with him.

Phoebe: But ... how much more time are you gonna stay avoiding him?

Helga: I don't know ...

Phoebe: What will happen if you two aren't reconciled for the big school party?

Helga thinks a lot.

Helga: I'll go on my own. Alone ...

Phoebe: (Disappointed) if you say so ...

Helga: Well ... I'd better go back home. I'm not in the mood for the arcades right now.

Helga stands up and leaves Phoebe alone.

Helga: (As she goes) Bye, Phoebe! And don't say anything to Arnold!

Phoebe: (Waves to her) Yes ...

Phoebe sees Helga leaving the scene.

Phoebe: But I don't know if I could hold this secret for a long time.

Phoebe leaves the scene too. Back to Arnold's room, he and Gerald are still working with Eugene.

Gerald: I think you're ready to make the first big step. Now, once again: Rhonda is in that place (Gerald points to a corner of the room) and you are walking right to her. What would you do?

Eugene: (Cool attitude) Look and learn.

Eugene walks to the corner with cool steps and stops were Rhonda is supposed to be. He leans on the wall with a hand and talks to "her".

Eugene: (Cool attitude) Say, babe... (looks at his fingers in a cool way) Do you think you are enough cool to dance with me at the big school party?

Gerald: Yes, that was perfect!

Eugene: (Back to normal) you think so?

Arnold: Sure! Rhonda is going to fall for you before you've had a chance to finish that sentence!

Eugene: (Smiles) alright, guys! Tomorrow will be the day!

The next day, at school, the three boys are waiting for Rhonda. Eugene is very well dressed (another of Gerald's tips) and is ready to tell Rhonda what he feels.

Arnold: Say, you look awesome dressed like that!

Eugene: Uh, I don't know. I'm feeling nervous.

Gerald: (Takes Eugene by his shoulders) Just relax! All will be just fine! Just remember all that we taught you and you'll be fine!

Eugene: (Nervous) OK.

Arnold: Look! There's Rhonda!

The three guys see Rhonda walking by their side.

Gerald: Now, Eugene!

Eugene: Right!

Eugene runs and get close to Rhonda.

Eugene: Hey, Rhonda, wait!

Rhonda stops and turns to Eugene.

Rhonda: Uhmm... Yes?

Eugene stops. Takes a deep breath and leans on the wall (actually, Eugene leans on a door) with a hand.

Eugene: (Cool attitude) Say ...

The door wasn't very closed properly and it opens, making Eugene fall to floor. Rhonda helps him standing up.

Rhonda: Oh, my! I hope there's no damage!

Eugene: (Smiling) Don't worry ... I'm OK.

Rhonda: I was talking about your clothes.

Eugene: (Disappointed) Oh ...

Rhonda: Because they're cute. It's a nice wardrobe, you know.

Eugene: (Surprised) Really?

Rhonda: Well ... I must admit you look a lot better with that nice combination of clothes. The colors... the shapes... the spirit. I think it's a nice combination.

Eugene: (Blushes) Er ... thanks ... I guess ...

Rhonda: It's a cool outfit.

Eugene: Ah ... Rhonda. Listen ... er ... would you like to be my dance partner if I wear this same combination at the party?

Rhonda: Uhmm... I don't know. Well, I've got no one in my list ... and I love that wardrobe of yours. (Thinks) OK, I'm on. I'll be your dance partner!

Eugene: (Shocked) ... gg ... (or better, speechless).

Rhonda: The bell will ring at any second. C'mon, let’s get to class.

Eugene: (Shocked) ... yeah ... go ahead ... I'll catch you later ...

Rhonda: OK.

Rhonda resumes walking. Eugene is amazed.

Eugene: (Shocked) ... she accepted to be my dance partner... (reacts) SHE ACCEPTED TO BE MY DANCE PARTNER!!! Ya-Hoo!!

Arnold and Gerald approach Eugene.

Arnold: So, what happened?

Eugene: (Cheerfully) She said yes!!

Gerald: Congratulations!!

Arnold: Now it's my turn! I'll try to talk to Helga at lunchtime.

Eugene: Good luck, pal. And thanks for the help!

Gerald: You're welcome, buddy.

- End of part 8 -